The past few posts have dealt extensively with family and dysfunction in our family units. My last two blogs, have mainly shed some insight on how we can live and survive while dealing with issues that we face with our parents, but these are not the only relationships that seem to give students trouble. In this post, I want us to look at what it means to deal with sibs. Sort of sounds like a disease, doesn’t it? And it is true that our students deal everyday with how they are supposed to deal with their sibling relationships. So what does God say about our brothers and sisters? As I have already said before family is supposed to be a gift from God. So what do we do when there is trouble on the home front?
All throughout scripture we see this relationship of brothers and sisters patterned for us in the lives of Biblical characters. We know that from the very beginning of time with Cain and Abel, the first two siblings, that there have been issues between children in the same family. We see the rivalry that takes place between Isaac and Ishmael. We know of the deception that drove apart Jacob and Esau. We know about the ten brothers who threw their younger brother Joseph into a pit and sold him into Egyptian slavery. Living with brothers and sisters can sometimes be a challenge. So how do we explain to our teens that there are good things in our sibling relationships? How do we help them realize that brothers and sisters are not only worth fighting with, but that they are also worth fighting for?
Tell them that Siblings Appreciate their Differences
It’s funny how similar some siblings look, and at the same time some brothers and sisters could pass as complete strangers. Whatever the case may be, I think we need to learn to appreciate the fact that God has made all of us different and unique. Even twins in many ways are so very different. I grew up in a home with a brother who was six years older than me, so I understand that there is often competition in family (this is especially true for siblings of the same sex). There’s an extreme amount of competition to live up to being so and so’s brother or sister. But be thankful that you aren’t your sibling and that siblings have differences. That’s what makes us all unique and special. God has a patent on you – and you are one of a kind.
Tell them that Siblings Have Each Others’ Back
I love the story of Dinah in scripture found in Genesis chapter 34. It’s a story that is so cool that Hollywood could take it and make a really interesting two hour blockbuster movie over it. Dinah was so hot. There was no doubt about it, she was a knock out – a perfect 10. She was out on the town visiting some of the women in her city and while she was out and about there was a guy from another tribe of people who caught a glimpse of her. In fact, she was so beautiful that the moment he laid eyes upon her, he began to fall in love with her. Instantly, Schechem began to devise a way that he could be with her. He knew that it would be tough, because they were from two separate clans – two clans that never intermarried. However, his heart pounded for her, so he kept himself secret as he began to follow her. As she turned to leave the city and began to head home Shechem caught her by surprise. He ambushed her and as scripture says, “He violated her”. She was raped. Dinah went home and told her father, Jacob what had happened. Jacob was devastated. He set up a meeting with Shechem’s father, Hamor. Hamor relayed to Jacob how desperate his son was to have Dinah as his bride. However, Dinah’s brothers stepped up to the plate and this is what they said, “We will only give our consent to you on one condition only: That you become like us by circumcising all your males. Then we will give you our daughters and take your daughters for ourselves.” Crazy, huh? Was all of that worth it for Schechem to have Dinah as a wife? It must have been because scripture says in verse 24, that all of the men in the city followed suit and were circumcised. Three days later, though, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male. The men were too sore from their “surgeries” that they couldn’t even put up a fight. So what does this story teach us? It just goes to show that siblings have each other’s back. I think it’s funny how you can beat up on a sibling, but if anyone else tries to touch them – it’s on man! Why? Because that’s my bro or that’s my sis – and siblings have each other’s back.
Tell them that Siblings Rejoice in Each Other’s Success
Sometimes that’s tough to do. Just ask the guy in Luke 15. The prodigal son comes back to the house, but unfortunately his brother isn’t too excited about his return and the party celebrating it. Obviously, he didn’t understand that siblings rejoice in each other’s successes. We celebrate their induction to the Honor Society even if we didn’t make it in. We celebrate their spot on the Varsity Volleyball team even though we are warming the bench on JV. We rejoice with our siblings when they succeed. That’s just what family does.
So if we want to encourage our teens to have awesome relationships with their siblings, then we need to tell them these three things. Listen, we only have one family - and life is too short to be at odds with brothers and sisters, moms and dads. So let’s help our teenagers to see the best in their siblings before it’s all too late!
